LABOR DAY!

Allow me to go into depth about getting my baby out of my belly.

Going into labor…. oh boy! I remember not wanting to ever get pregnant because I was so afraid of labor. I seriously started considering adoption as my method of having children - that’s how much I wanted to avoid it. Once I got pregnant, I got less and less afraid of giving birth the closer it came to my due date. Eventually, I couldn’t Wait to go into labor! Delivering my daughter was by far the best day of my life. So many emotions all in one experience. The entire journey was so exciting for me that I can’t wait to share it with you guys!

During a sonogram appointment, my doctor found an issue with one of her kidneys. It was absolutely terrifying and I couldn’t tell you how many times I cried about it. To briefly explain the issue, she had a dilated kidney which meant that fluid wasn’t draining entirely into her bladder which caused damage to the kidney during development. The best case scenario was that the kidney would fix itself through development and the worst case scenario was that she would have to have a transplant. The specialists told us the best option for the transplant would be for Ryan’s father or myself to donate one of our kidneys. Of course neither of us thought twice about it. A kidney for my daughter’s health? Done. Due to all of this, I had a high-risk pregnancy. We started seeing a kidney specialist weekly for seven months. Though it was terrifying, we had a sonogram weekly and anyone who has had a child would understand how ironically blessed we were to see her once a week. It put my mind at ease to keep checking up on her given the circumstances.

So the plan we made with the specialists was to induce me two weeks early. I was so excited about this because that meant we would be able to meet Ryan sooner. When we would have our weekly appointment, they would check for the size of her kidneys as well as the amniotic fluid she was surrounded by. For those of you that don’t know, the amniotic fluid is water and fluid produced by my body which is essential for her to grow in. After about 20 weeks, it is then basically the fetus’s urine. Since urine is produced by kidneys, we had to track her urine output weekly to make sure they were functioning. She had always been surrounded by a decent amount of amniotic fluid so Nick and I were very hopeful.

It was a week away from my induction day and we had our last OB appointment as well as an ultrasound with the specialists. The hospital we were going to was thirty minutes away from our house and we woke up exactly thirty five minutes before our appointment. We literally got ready in five minutes and I kid you not we looked like straight bums. No shower, no hair or makeup done, lazy clothes, and of course unshaved legs to top it all off. During my OB appointment, she checked my cervix and that’s basically where my doctor shoves her entire hand up my baby hole. It hurt like a b*tch. When we had our sonogram, her amniotic fluid had dropped by half the amount it had always been. You could always tell when the doctors and nurses don’t want to discuss things in front of you - and that never means they have something good to share. They left the room to discuss things further and with other doctors that had been involved in our appointments previously. When they came back, they ever-so-casually said, “We’re going to get you upstairs to delivery.” WHAT. No, really…. WHAT. WE WERE NOT READY FOR THIS, GUYS- we were not mentally prepared for it yet.

I have always been the type of person that packs her vacation bags either the night before or the morning of. With that being said, we did not have our hospital bag ready!! We thought we had an exact day to plan for. We went upstairs to my delivery room and I wrote down a checklist on a broacher I found in the room. Nick left to get everything and I was by myself for a couple of hours. I got my IV in and they set up the monitor to track my contractions as well as Ryan’s heart beat. The plan was to induce me the next morning at five A.M. They needed me the night before to loosen my cervix. Another round of checking my cervix…. OUCH.

There’s a myth that getting induced hurts more than just going into labor naturally. The contractions are just closer together so people think they are worse. Don’t get me wrong, I was not fond of them by any means, but I got drugs for that! I’m talking fun drugs. I was so out of it that I was playing eye-spy in my head. The room was all pink one second and then blue the next. I kept insisting to Nick that they gave me the wrong medicine and that they put me on drugs. I also couldn’t sleep and just wanted to play eye-spy the whole night. It was a blast, you guys. (Nick is such a great partner, he tried to play with me, but the colors kept changing and he couldn’t keep up with me) 10/10 recommend.

The next day, they pushed fluids through my IV to start the induction. They gave me more fun drugs once my contractions started up again. They were getting so bad and literally 30 seconds after one another that I could barely breathe. I asked for my epidural because I just wanted to go numb. For the longest time, the mere thought of an epidural terrified me. I mean a 10 centimeter needle going directly into my spine? Who wants that? ME. I wanted that. Once they got it all set up and they were about to put it in, I shouted at them, “WAIT. I’m having a contraction!” I didn’t want two excruciating pains all at once. As I was having my contraction, they just jabbed the needle in. I felt NOTHING but my contraction… that’s how bad they are, people.

After that, it was just a waiting game. Contraction after contraction- but I didn’t care, I COULDN’T FEEL A THING! I couldn’t even feel the nurse shoving her hand up my baby hole anymore! Epidurals are great. Some time went on and all of a sudden, I felt a water balloon pop inside of me; my water broke and it felt so cool. On top of that, it felt like I peed myself, not that that part was cool, though. More waiting after that but not long after, I thought she was coming out. Sorry, it’s about to get gory, guys, but it felt like I had a ginormous turtle head pokin’ through if you know what I mean. I was sure she was coming because there was so much pressure down there. I told the nurse and she just said, “No, it’s way too soon, you’re fine.” SHE DIDN’T EVEN CHECK THOUGH. I fought her on it and said I really thought she was coming out. Again, the nurse dismissed it and I just kept repeating myself. She then said, “Okay, I’ll just check you to make you feel better.” I hope she felt stupid after that because the second she put her hand down there, she quickly said, “Ope. That’s a head! She’s definitely crowning!” WELL NO FUCKING SHIT. I know when I’m pooping my baby out!

The nurse left the room to call in the doctor. I swear we were waiting for at least twenty minutes. It took forever to even hear back from the nurse, so Nick went on a search mission for her because I thought Ryan was going to fall out of me. Once the nurse finally came back, I kid you not like 10 other people were brought in, on top of a lot of equipment. There was a huge surgical light that came out of the ceiling, a cart full of tools, a scale and measurement tools for little peanut, and her bed. My delivering doctor had a student with him and explained that he would be there with him training. I really wanted to watch everything happen so I was going to see if my mom could record my labor on my phone but then the nurses suggested bringing in a mirror. I got to watch my own labor; it was absolutely incredible. My adrenaline was so high at this point; I just wanted to start already!

It was finally time to start pushing and I just remember the doctor telling me to slow down - I told you I was excited. One of my first thoughts when I saw the crown of her head pop out was utter joy that she had hair and that she wouldn’t be a bald baby! I got her out in FIVE PUSHES, you guys! That’s not your typical delivery. As weird as this may be, I was so proud of myself. Though when her head came out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. I missed this part, but Nick said it was terrifying. The doctor was pulling so hard to get the cord unwrapped, and he did it. He saved my sweet girl!

When she was fully out, they held her up so I could see her the moment she was born. Thank God I watched my sister deliver her first daughter because I knew what to expect. When I watched my niece come out, just like any other baby, she was covered in gunk from the womb. The gunk was white and her body was a blue-ish color. Without knowing, it was a scary sight. I got to hold Ryan before they cleaned her up. They took her to the bedside to get her cleaned, take measurements, get footprints, and all that fun stuff. I watched none of it as I was delivering my placenta and getting stitched up since I tore inside. When the doctor told me I tore, he asked if his student could practice on me. I didn’t care! Hello, I had my epidural and couldn’t feel a thing. Stitch away, student!

Once I was all stitched up and could finally close my legs, I got to hold Ryan again and the nurses suggested I feed her. Guys, I thought about this moment for the longest time - BREASTFEEDING. What the heck is it going to feel like? Am I going to hate it? Everyone talks about how hard it is, will I be able to nurse her? It all happened so fast, I didn’t get much time to think about it, but it came naturally. I just popped her on there and she started eating! It was honestly amazing. I had something to offer my daughter that nobody else could. I could go on and on about breastfeeding, but that’s a post in and of itself. Overall, nursing Ryan went really well and I’m glad it has worked out for us; we are still going strong! In fact, she won’t take a bottle so basically I have to be around for her almost 24/7.

Shortly after we moved to a clean room, the nurses came in and told us that Ryan had to stay in the NICU and she couldn’t stay in the room with us. I was devastated. I knew that my baby was going to be taken care of and getting the treatments she needed, but I have been protecting my daughter for nine months straight and to be separated from her was nothing short of heartbreaking. Now I had 24/7 access to her, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted her by MY side, not the other way around. Along with the breastfeeding, I could very well elaborate on both of her NICU stays, but that would be another story.

We eventually got to take her home and my gosh, did I want to show her off to the world! I was so proud (and still am) of this little human my man and I created. To this day, I cannot believe I am a mother. Ryan is such a good baby and only ever cries when she needs something. My delivery was absolutely incredible and I cannot wait to give Ry Ry a little brother or sister one day! The excitement this experience gave me (and Nick) is something I have underestimated my entire life - and that’s considering how much I have been looking forward to having children my entire life. This whole journey has been nothing short of a miracle and I have God to thank for everything. Giving birth is nothing to be afraid of, ladies. WE WERE MADE TO DO THIS! Our bodies were created to cook little miracles!

To sum everything up, my pregnancy and delivery have both been bumpy rides, but I wouldn’t change one damn thing. All the ups and downs made for my beautiful story and I am so thankful for it all. Going into labor was not scary for me, everything was in the moment and the only thing I was thinking about was meeting my sweet girl for the first time.