Well, Sh*t. I'm Pregnant!

What it was like getting pregnant out of wedlock at 21.

Whether you know me or not, you should be able to gather that I was not trying for a child just by reading my title. It was quite frankly an accident. Though it was the greatest accident that could happen to me, I’ll tell you my journey of finding out I was pregnant.

Okay, so I’m going to be painfully open about my experience. Not painful for you, but for me. It’s not easy to admit to everything but who wants to hear about a perfect life? Those don’t exist- unless you’re Kylie Jenner and can afford a perfect butt job.

I was dating this guy for two years, right? His name is Nick. Things eventually hit the fan, and we broke up for a year and a half, though the entire year and a half I wanted him back. I even went on a date once and cried about my ex. That’s how pathetic I was. I knew that no matter what, Nick was the one… and not only because he asked me out AFTER he witnessed me shit my pants (Yes, that absolutely happened.) He randomly texted me one day asking if I wanted to get coffee and catch up. After hitting it off, he walked me out to my car and we totally kissed in the rain. It was such a perfect movie moment that I just had to brag.

Anyway, we started dating again, with of course our demons haunting our relationship. It took a lot of work, and honestly it still does. Before we got back together, he had already moved to a different state for a job promotion. Luckily, he was only an hour and ten minutes away so we were doing long distance for awhile. Nick was always the type of guy to take things incredibly slow and embarrassingly I was the polar opposite.

We started fighting often and didn’t know why. I will never forget what Nick said during a long-distance FaceTime fight: “I think you’re pregnant.” Okay, he more like yelled that at me. That thought had never crossed my mind because that kind of thing would never happen to me. Turns out I had been extremely hormonal which encouraged me to go buy a pregnancy test at 1:30 in the morning. Still fighting from different states, I sit over the toilet to take the test and I wish I could be cliche here and tell you that it was the longest two minutes of my life waiting for the result, but that fucker turned positive right away. Everything in my body just froze. Everything was blank. I FaceTimed Nick sobbing. He started freaking out because I couldn’t even get any words out. As a result of being mute, I showed him the positive test, though he couldn’t gather that the double lines mixed with my crying meant that I was pregnant. When he finally realized, we sat there for a while just crying together on the phone. He told me that he was on his way to come see me.

Turns out Nick couldn’t drive because he had been drinking quite a bit. I threw some things in an overnight bag and arrived to his place at 3:30 in the morning and we spent the whole night holding each other. We were in panic mode for the next 48 hours trying to grasp what this actually meant for us. Not to mention, Nick was about to sign a 12-month lease with his buddy the next day. We figured the living arrangement out to where I would break my lease and just move in with them because we couldn’t just screw over his friend. Quick shout out to Adam for being such a trooper through this all.

After the 48 hour panic mode, we started getting excited. The first person I told was my pregnant sister. I had been giving her a hard time for being pregnant at the same time as our new step-mom and our fifty-something year old dad. I began with, “So you know how it’s weird that you’re going to have a baby the same time dad is? Well it’s about to get weirder….” “NO YOU’RE NOT!” I asked her a ton of questions and she just sat there giving me the advice that I desperately needed.

We then went on to tell our parents, all of which went well. My mom was already a grandmother so she was more fixated on the fact that I was going to move an hour and ten minutes away from her. My dad didn’t really have much of a reaction and Nick’s parents have been anxiously waiting for a grand-baby so they could not have been more excited.

I have always been the type to want everything traditional. I wanted to start my career, marry in the Catholic church, buy a house, and then start a family. I’m ashamed to say this, but I judged anyone who had done it differently. This is not how I wanted my story to go. I still had a lot of partying to do, since I was after all twenty-one when I got pregnant. On top of that, I wanted to travel around with Nick. Go hiking in the mountains of Colorado, sunbathe in Cancun again, and basically anything else you can’t do with a baby. It was hard to adjust to my re-written story, but I am so blessed that I am a mommy to an absolutely beautiful little girl. I could not be happier with God’s plan for me and my little family. Then began my purpose in this world.